Dealing with Your Incompetent Boss - Parte III

Take care of yourself

Working for an incompetent boss can be bad for your health. "There is a lot of research on the negative psychological effects," says McKee. She suggests creating psychological boundaries that protect you from the emotional damage. We have a tendency to point to a bad boss and say, "He is ruining my life." But, this ignores the fact that you have agency in the situation: you can decide whether to stay or not. "Once you become a victim, you cease to become a leader," she says. Focus on what makes you happy about your job, not miserable. "We can come to work every day and pay attention to this horrible boss or we can choose to pay attention to the people we are happy to see every day or the work we enjoy. We can choose which emotions we lean into," says McKee.

Of course, if you aren't able to do that, you shouldn't suffer indefinitely. Consider looking for a transfer to a new boss or a new employer.

Principles to Remember

Do

• Have empathy for your boss and the pressures he may be under.
• Create psychological boundaries around work so that your boss's incompetence doesn't negatively impact your health or wellbeing.
• Focus on the broader good of the organization and what you can do to contribute.

Don't

• Try to point out to your boss all the ways that she is incompetent.
• Go to your boss's boss unless you are aware of the potential ramifications.
• Stick it out if none of your coping strategies are working — know when you need to leave.

Case Study #1: Focus on what you need

Hilary Parker* had recently moved to Baltimore* and was excited about her new job with a state agency. She was hired by her new boss, Jeremy*, to create a new state-wide alliance focused on environmental issues. Jeremy had been with the agency for years and was well liked across the organization. Three months into the job, however, Hilary noticed that Jeremy was not introducing her to people or setting up the meetings he had promised to. These connections were crucial because Hilary's project depended on forming relationships. "It felt like he was blocking me a bit," she says. Over the next few months, things seemed to get worse. He failed to make introductions, took a long time to get back to her on time-sensitive issues, and took things off Hilary's plate without explanation. "I saw that he was very good at parts of his job but he was terrible at supporting and developing the new program that I was responsible for," she says.

Hilary was frustrated but still determined to get her job done. So she created a detailed table of the projects she was working on, including information about their status and the contacts and support she needed to make them successful. She then presented the document to Jeremy. This exercise helped her organize her thoughts and ensure she was meeting her boss's expectations. But she also used it as a way of gaining permission to seek help elsewhere. Specifically, she asked if she could contact Jeremy's boss Michael*, the chair of the organization, who eventually helped her move some of her projects forward. Michael also sensed Hilary's frustration and encouraged her to be open about it. "He was very supportive. He gave me the feedback I'd been hoping for from Jeremy," she says. In the end, with Michael's support, Hilary decided to leave her position. A few months later, he hired her to work on a consulting project for another agency.